Sister backs out of family trip after they refuse to let her invite her new boyfriend, sibling demands she pay her part anyway, sister insists: ‘I don't have the money’

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Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
May 17, 2026 8:30 AM EDT

"Here's an idea, dear sister, if you don't have the money to pay for a family vacation, don't say you're going to join the family vacation."

How many chances can you give an untrustworthy person before the blame eventually falls on you?

Take the siblings below as an example. As the family was planning a summer vacation together, the sibling in charge of the planning knew that their sister was financially irresponsible and had a tendency to back out at the last minute, which would cause problems with her paying back for the vacation.

As a precaution, the sibling held a family meeting in which they asked every family member to promise they would pay for their portion of the trip, even if they ended up not joining. The irresponsible sister accepted the terms and insisted that there was no way she would back out of coming or not pay her part.

The sibling booked the trip and set up a deadline for everyone to reumburst them.

A few months later, to the surprise of absolutely no one, the sister decided that she could not come on the trip and refused to pay her sibling for her part. It didn't help that she promised them she wouldn't do that, or that they had an agreement; at the end of the day, she didn't have the money and had no intention of giving it up.

Since the sibling saw this coming, it makes one wonder who is actually to blame here. Is it really the irresponsible sister's fault, or is it the sibling's fault for giving her a chance in the first place? Keep scrolling to read the full story to decide.

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  • Two women talking while sitting on a couch
    via Nini FromParis

    Two women talking while sitting on a couch.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • AITA for making my sister pay for a trip she is not going on?

    In December 2025, my husband and I started planning our annual summer vacation for 2026. We invited my parents, who suggested turning it into a big family trip with my siblings and their kids.
    via Single-Assignment949
  • Finding a house that sleeps 13 people is expensive, so before booking, we made it clear everyone would pay their own portion. Before we booked, my sister asked if my youngest 17-year-old niece's
    via Single-Assignment949
  • boyfriend could come, but wanted us to move the trip because he had golf nationals during our original week. My husband initially said no to changing the dates because everyone had already arranged work
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  • schedules, but after my niece personally called and asked, he agreed and moved the trip to the week after Memorial Day.
    via Single-Assignment949
  • Because of my sister's history of backing out of things, I made it very clear during our family "vacation meeting" that if anyone canceled, they would still owe their portion of the rental house. Everyone agreed.
    via Single-Assignment949
  • Later, I privately told my sister I was worried she'd back out and not pay. She assured me there was "no way" she'd miss the trip because my oldest niece's 19 boyfriend planned to propose during the vacation and wanted her help making it special.
    via Single-Assignment949
  • She also said she'd have the money because she planned to use her tax refund. That was enough reassurance, so my husband and I booked the house and paid up front. We gave everyone deadlines to
    via Single-Assignment949
  • reimburse us. Later, my sister mentioned she had received her tax refund. I asked if she wanted to go ahead and pay her vacation portion while she had the money, but she said she needed it for other things and promised she'd pay by the deadline.
    via Single-Assignment949
  • A few months later, she introduced us to her new boyfriend of two weeks and immediately asked if he could come too. My husband said no because the house had a maximum occupancy of 14, and we
    via Single-Assignment949
  • were already full after adding my youngest niece's boyfriend-the same boyfriend we changed the dates for. My sister argued he could sleep on an air mattress, but my dad explained we weren't comfortable having a stranger stay in a house full of family and small children.
    via Single-Assignment949
  • That's when she casually announced that she, my nephew, my youngest niece, and the boyfriend weren't coming anyway because she didn't have the money. I reminded her she still owed her portion because we
    via Single-Assignment949
  • Two women talking while sitting on a couch
    via Nini FromParis

    Two women talking while sitting on a couch.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • had all agreed that backing out didn't remove responsibility for the cost. She said times were hard and she didn't think she'd end up broke before the deadline. I reminded her about the proposal plans for my niece and said she shouldn't miss it.
    via Single-Assignment949
  • Her exact response was: "Oh, it's fine. She probably already knows about it anyway." I also pointed out that we changed the dates of the entire trip to accommodate my niece's boyfriend's golf schedule,
    via Single-Assignment949
  • and now none of them were even coming. She replied: "I don't know what you want me to do. I do not have the money."
    via Single-Assignment949
  • AITA for wanting to hold her accountable and make her pay for her share of the housing even though she is no longer going?
    via Single-Assignment949

  • If you ask us, the sibling never should have paid for the vacation in the first place. They should have collected the money from everyone FIRST, and booked the trip only after having all the funds for it. As soon as they paid for it themselves, they set themselves up for disappointment.

    Will they ever get their money back? Probably not. Will they ever learn their lesson? That remains to be seen…

  • Legally Blonde_258 Nta, but you should have gotten the money up front before making a non-refundable booking, given her history. Or just said no to the request to include her. Good luck trying to get your money back!
    via Legally_Blonde_258
  • YoshiandAims NTA This is a tricky one. She doesn't have money, she can't go. I doubt you'd remotely see that money without going to small claims court. Which would just cost you more.
    via YoshiandAims
  • You KNEW this was going to happen. I'd suggest in the future everyone pay in advance into a joint pool before booking, or they don't go. I'd also suggest ensuring you get travel insurance.
    via YoshiandAims
  • BUT, the terms of all this were clear: anyone backs out, they still owe their share of the house, akin to a non-refundable deposit. She did agree to that. I don't blame you for wanting her to honor that, just because her boyfriend can't come... she's left you all in a spot to scramble and each come up with more money, or get moved to a smaller rental...
    via YoshiandAims
  • You won't see that money. I get wanting to, and being furious, but, she'll never actually pay you.
    via YoshiandAims
  • lacyreif NTA dont expect to actually get the repayment, and I would also not ever invite her on anything that requires reimbursement again. Make her pay up front or she doesnt go. History shows she cant be trusted with money, so dont act like it wont be repeated.
    via lacyreif

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family drama kids mother siblings niece proposal aunt family sister trip women parents children Father vacation
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